What to talk about on the First Real Date

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After you finally make the plans to meet and both of you actually get there, what do you do next? Well, of course you are both going to want to talk about things.  Usually the first thing talked about is how much you do, or do not, look like the picture they have of you.  From there what the two of you talk about really depends on how much you have gotten to know each other over the online chatting.  You may have even talked on the phone.  In that case, things might be a bit more personal.  


And you seem to find that even though you had so much to talk about online or over the phone, there is not too much to talk about in person.  But don’t work your self up over it.  It is probably just the confidence factor or your anxieties and nerves working you into a silence. That fear can make things difficult when meeting for the first time to strike up a conversation and keep it going – so you just need to remember that and keep your spirits up.


 A few things to talk about, in any situation, would usually be a little more in depth than the chats you had online.  For instance, you may have talked to your online partner a little bit about what you do at your job.  Now would be a great time to elaborate a bit more on the subject.  Do you really like what you do?  Is it your dream job or just something to get you by for now?  Do you plan to switch careers any time soon?  Always remember to not talk too fast so your date has a chance to respond to what you are saying.  If you have a habit of talking fast, try to tone it down a bit, as doing that is a sign of being a real pushy person.  You also want to give your date a chance to say tings as well.  It can come off as selfish not to give your date a chance to talk about them.  Don’t you want to know things about them as well?  This is a great time to let them talk, as they were probably as nervous as you were before the date.  This being the case, they more than likely read up on what to do on a first date and want to make a good impression on you.  So let them have their say too.


Another safe subject to talk about is schooling.  Where you went to school, what did you study and what degree you earned, if any?  You might find that you have some things in common, like maybe, you studied for the same minor, or maybe you have the same goals in life.  Wouldn’t it be nice to find out that you both have the same kind of hopes ad dreams?  Also, the subject of schooling is great to talk about in terms of if you plan on going back to school.  It is always a good idea to understand just how available a person is going to be in a relationship once it starts.  Again, do not forget to let your date talk about these things too.  They might just be itching to say a few words, but you are talking so fast, or being too selfish to let them get a word in edgewise.  Always remember to be courteous when talking to other people. 


You should probably never talk about a few certain subjects as well.  Usually things of a political or religious nature can set off certain sparks that can be taken as standoffish on a first dates.  These subjects can cause a lot of unnecessary tension between people and should be avoided at all costs.  That is unless you know the person well enough to be able to argue with them and still be able to sleep in the same bed with them at night.  Being that this is still just the first date, that’s probably not the case.


You do not want to go over board, either.  You definitely do not want to start talking about all the bad things that have happened in the past, such as your parents splitting up, or your how your best friend passed away last year.  These things need to be left for the 10th date, or somewhere around that period, as they are subjects for two people who are a little more personally intimate with each other. 


In a world where almost everything is centered on communication, talking is one of the hardest things to do, let alone do well.  Just remember the talking should come naturally as long as you can be yourself.  And if it doesn’t, then you have this guide to keep you in check.  Having fun and staying safe are always important when meeting and talking for the first time.

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