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Hello World
Online: 1790 days ago   Updated: 1790 days ago   Joined: 1790 days ago
The Basics
  Age: 42   Gender: Male   Race: Caucasian   Location: Minnesota United States
The Details
Body Type:
  Clean Cut
Eye Colour:
  None but want some soon
Hair Colour:
Hair Length:
Sexual Orientation:
About Me

All women are not created equal. Some women are afraid of honesty. Some women are so honest they'll make you cry. Same goes for men. Please, please, please do not generalize when it comes to gender. And please, please, please do not make decisions about "what women do" based on one ex-wife and an ex-girlfriend who's embarrassed about debt. Really.

Honesty is all about intent and delivery. You're right -- relationship experts love open communication, but they also love empathy. "I'm concerned you don't pay bills. Really, what's up with your priorities?" sounds different than, "You seem stressed about your finances. I'm sort of good at managing money. Can I sit down, as your friend, and work through it with you?" And yes, you're allowed to add, "I'm asking, partly because if I keep paying for everything, I'll be skipping bills, too. Can we have one of those awkward talks about cash flow?" (Said with a sheepish grin on your face, not a look of judgment.)

It's not about lying. It's about presenting information so that the truth doesn't obscure itself by clouding the recipient's brain with more anxiety.

What I'm Looking For

My advice is to look for someone you really respect -- someone you want to befriend, not just date. In fact, I recommend seeking out some women friends (this will help you stop generalizing) and perhaps one of them will turn into something more. I think it'd be great for you to date someone you already know well.

If you already have some close female friends, ask them what they think is going on. Something tells me you'll be startled by their honesty.

Readers? What happens when we generalize? Are his generalizations accurate at all? Could this be his delivery? Is this about his ex-wife? Should he start by finding more female friends? How should he do that? Do I look fat in this dress? Be honest.


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