I needs pretty lady to love
2302 days ago
2302 days ago
2302 days ago
Children: None but want some soon
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Finding love mean everything to me. i would cut off all my limbs with a spoon for love. I have not had it easy trying to do it. Plead read my story:
My first girlfriend i had was in first grade. Nothing that special about that. There was a show, Sonic Underground , it was not finished. I met this one girl. We worked together to try to finish that show. She was really pretty and really nice. I couldn't help falling in love with her. Then one day, She got engaged. She found me loving her so much creppy. I asked a bunch of girls if there was someone who loved you more than anything, would give their life for you, all that good stuff. Would you findthat creppy? They all replied they would love a guy like that. I explained how lonely and suicidal I was from that and being lonely for nine years. There was my second girlfriend,(asked to remain anoymnous) She said she if ther was a guy who loved her like I loved heather ( the girl I worked on Sonic underground with) She would feel the same about him. She also felt that knd of lonliness. I asked her to be my girlfriend , but she said no due to I am 16 and she is 12. I later asked her If 2 people love each other so much, what does a 4 year age difference matter? She agreeded it did not matter. She later became my girlfriend. 24 hours later,we fell in love. About 4 weeks later, I went on a trip to virginia for 2 days and was unable to talk to her. I felt so sad. When I got home, I asked her to marry me. She said yes at first. she later thought about it and did not feel ready yet. WE got engaged again because she felt like her heart was being ripped out and I felt like I was watching her get raped. Then about 2 weeks later, She cheated on me with 2 other guys. If she didn't, they would have killed themselves. She fell in love with 3 guys. She had to choose. It was so hard on her, her choice was nobody. I do not know how the other 2 gys are right now. I did ask my ex, but she told me to erase this section for privacy. I cannot do that. this about me section is what little dignity I had left after she cheated on me. she owes me more than keeping this up.
I am left here all sad and lonely. I. I tried many times to move on. My first place to look was locally. That did not work. I would usually get ignored or said mean things to me. I gave up and searched online. I have been searching a lot. i found this one girl who went by shamdia. She was a great girl, until I got this message:
"I'm not really a real person. I'm just a side account for someone you know. Someone else and I were going to try to teach you a lesson and try to get you away from internet dating. You're not a horrible person and people do pay attention to you at school, you just emit the wrong kind of actions forthe negative type of attention. If you were to adjust your actions and such, people may try to give you a chance. Our plan was to impersonate someone that you would instantly fall for, have similar interests, and similar personal experiences. In a way, we did not even need to impersonate someone. But we did. The Amanda that you have a picture of is a girl that is missing in Florida or something. Amanda Mc something. The birthday we used is of a sibling, not the real Amanda's. After you fell for Amanda, we were planning on moving your sights away from your other girls online. You never know if they really are girls, but I'm not giving you that stupid speech. You never know if they are doing the same thing as we are. But after you had segregated yourself from the others, then we were going to reveal that Amanda is not real. And let you be disappointed. To teach you a lesson about online relationships. It was all a sort of funny joke, and we had other things planned out, but then we realized how heartless and dangerous this sort of thing is. So sorry for leading you on. You'll probably hate me even more than you already do. But ohwell. It's for your own good. I hope you read this whole message and didn't just skim through it "
I do not know the true identity of shamdia. the person who he or she claimed to be is a lie.
Then I met girlfriend number 3: (requested to remain anonymous. I loved with all my heart. it was rough with my parents because they are half racist and she is black. I had her for about 3-4 months. She left me because of my 2 religious beliefs that very few people have:
1. There are 2 religion:satanism and Christianity. Things like Muslim, Islam, Mormon are subreligions. If you are a bad person, you are a satanist. If you are a good person you are a christian. You do not have to directly worship god to be christian or directly worship Satan to be satanist. When you do good things like give to charity, compliment people, love, help others, that is the whole idea of god. When you do bad things like kill, rape, lie, steal, that is the whole idea of satan. sorta like santa claus exist. we all know there is no guy that flys around in a sliegh with reindeer bringing kids present. yet he does exist. He is within us when we give to others. If there is a physical god or satan, The only way we can know for sure is to die. therefore, my subreligion is something I am trying to discover. I thought I was puritan. someone said i could be a fundamentalist.
2. When two people get married, their souls combine into one soul. During a wedding a preacher says "we are gathered her today to join the two in holy matrimony. do so and so take so and so to be together til death do you part?" There are 4 possible theories from what I know. We cannot know for certain til we die:
1.The marriage ends when one of the people die
2. Both people have to die for the marriage to end.
3. No one truely dies, their soul and spirit live on forever. If you get a divorce,only the marriage license ends, not the marriage. if you marry someone after a divorce, you are a polygamist.
4. when the couple stops loving each other the souls split apart.
Well death can either be end of biological functions or loss or god. i find loss of god the real death.
the best thing to do is just to not divorce anybody. Wait til you are ready before proposing.
I have had some changes in belief since then. I believe that there are still 2 religions. Yet I believe everyone is a bad person. Jesus was the only exception. if you accept him, god will see jesus and not your sin and let you into heaven. I now also believe when marrying someone, you can divorce for only one reason: Unfaithfulness.( like cheating) the soul will split too. You may go find another spouse after that.
I guess I should have told this part sooner. I did have a fourth girl. She left me back in February 2010. this edit is on may 21, 2010. I do not know the best reason why I waited so long to put this part on here. well she was souki-loves-u (that's her teenspot name). Her real name is Sokanya "Souki" Rabie Sam. she was the greatest girl I ever known. highest of the most highest caliber, which made it fail. I was not good enough for her. I could not entertain her. She got bored and stopped loving me. she does miss me though and loves me now but will not get back with me because she lives about 4000 miles away. ( in Morocco).
the last girlfriend we broke up because she was too busy
" You move forward , you have 2 good legs, use them"
-Alphonse, from the amine Full Metal Alchemist
What I'm Looking For
I needs pretty lady to love me forever and make me happy. I want someone to be there for me always. Last relationship failed because she was not there for me. I was crying a lot because I got so lonely. I am still lonely from not having anyone. I hope this site can help me.