callielove
Just a small town girl.....
The Basics
Age:
36
Gender:
Female
Race:
Caucasian
Location:
Glassboro
New Jersey
United States
The Details
Body Type: Athletic, SlimHair Length: Short, MediumSexual Orientation: Straight
About Me
I'm a very unique person, as many people would say. But it really does not get me anywhere in life. I'm pretty outgoing and don't depend on anyone but myself. I can go out in a big group, or I'd even go by myself. I am an extremely nice person for the most part, but I can be a huge bitch, but I try not to be. No one really understands me to this day. I sometimes get into the "I don't care" mode. That only happens when I'm really stressed or upset. It makes me feel better and for some reason if i get that thinking about school, I do a whole lot better then when I actually really do care. I want to learn and keep learning becasue I love it, but i'm ready to move on with my life and get a real job. But that won't be happening for at least another year. When it comes to guys and relationships, it just doesn't work for me. I'm way to picky when it comes to guys. but that's okay.
What I'm Looking For
I love a lot of people. But I want to feel it like it's never been felt before. I want something so real that I can feel it when I am at my happiest and at my saddest. I want that one person that I can call when I am hurting so badly that it feels like the world is going to end but at the end of the day they can make me find that glimmer of hope. I want someone there when I am at my happiest and I will know that they are part of the reason that is how I feel. I want to know that this person wants to stand next to me forever. I have been so against trust. Each and every time I put myself out there, I get crushed. I don't want someone who can break down the wall I have built against love. I want them to merely take it down…brick by brick. This may seem like a lot. But there is someone out there. I can't say that I have been in love with anyone but I can say that I have loved a lot of people who in return have hurt me. I have started to fall and there was no one waiting to catch me. I have been hurt in ways that people have no clue. The people who have hurt me the most are the people that will most likely never know the pain they caused. As much as I get over grudges too quickly, I am starting to learn to stand my own ground. I can't pretend things never happened. I can not smile and act happy forever. It's just pushing feelings under a rug and at some point there will be only so much I can fit there. I am a girl with strong ambition. I try to wear my heart on my sleeve. I want nothing but the best for the people I love. But for once I want to feel like someone needs me in their life as much as I need them in mine. Sometimes you sit there and wonder who truly cares. And when your thoughts provoke no names…it leaves little hope. I want someone that looks at me and sees that someone they have been waiting for. I want someone to look in my eyes and know that is where the world lives. I want someone who can hold me and never want to let go. There are actually two hugs in my whole life that I will never forget. Both were goodbye hugs. But hugs goodbye never seem good. I have so many scars it's unbelievable. But I know at some point the scars will fade…and from that day on, I will know where life is taking me and what I want to do with it. Until then…
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