That813Guy
IM ALL ABOUT THAT SMILE.
The Basics
Age:
44
Gender:
Male
Race:
Mixed
Location:
New York
United States
The Details
Smoking: Smokes only when drinkingSexual Orientation: Straight
About Me
I lost a needle in a hay stack once and found it. My carpet vacuums itself. Everyday is my lucky day. I'm 5'5" on paper but 5'4" when you tickle me. When you meet me the pleasure will be all mine when i see you smile. I hate fantasies because they always come true.Im a stellar hugger and a world class cuddler, I don't pay attention to fashion because it is always a step behind my closet,Moms love me and children wanna be me. I once climbed Mount Everest, Mount Kilimanjaro, and K-2 using only one bottle of oxygen and a sack of trail mix
I'm a really easy going guy. I never sweat the small things in life, because i view the world with a "The Glass half full" approach.
Living and loving life for what it is,because at the end I know i wont be disappointed .
What I'm Looking For
If your looking for a good time,and please dont be lame. Be willing to take life for all its worth
For our first date, I'm gunna take you with me to go bow hunting for hobos!!! I know, I know, I'm excited too...After that we're gunna rob a Wal-Mart and take all their universal remotes as well as batteries. From there, we will proceed to drive up and down random neighborhoods and change the channels on the unfortunate residents. While on our Bonnie and Clyde spree, we will stumble drunkenly into a drag show where you and I will wow the crowd with a made up jazz rendition of Charlie Sheen's life just because we are that awesome. But before we are able to finish our dance number the cops bust in the door because the bar forgot to pay their liquor license. During the raid, you and I slip out the back and take off running for a couple blocks until we are picked up by the cops for the robbery earlier.Which turned out to be my fault because I bought a pair of sunglasses for my date with you instead of buying ski masks... :/. So at the end of the night if you're still alive and you haven't ran away from me yet, while we are sitting handcuffed to chairs before being booked that's when I'll look at you and know you're worth it!
If you want to know about the second date...let's just say you're gunna need a wet suit, bolt cutters, and a waffle iron!
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