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I need to be truthful to you, here
Online: 2728 days ago   Updated: 2728 days ago   Joined: 2792 days ago
The Basics
  Age: 57   Gender: Male   Race: Caucasian   Location: Londonderry New Hampshire United States
The Details
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About Me

Hello there, and welcome to my own little corner of the virtual world.

As I have stated, I need to be as up-front with who I am and what I believe in this essay. I believe as well that we are both better served by my telling you who I am not, as opposed to writing the typical profile missive, which by my estimation usually serves to tell you what I would think you want to hear. This is deceptive, methinks. Plus, it's unoriginal; every guy says the same thing.

I am by no means a perfect man. Nor do I think of myself as some sort of big, squishy teddy bear or white knight. In my younger days, perhaps this was true, but not now.

I do have a highly cultivated sense of the romantic. This means that I am always a gentleman, especially in deference to the person with whom I am involved. I don't like listing these things off to the anonymous world at large, so you will have to meet me half-way in order to learn more. This also means that I am not a push-over, prone to letting the vulnerability I give to you (only you) get the better of me. I don't play games; I don't expect you to do so either.

I do not drink nor do I do drugs of any kind. This is not because I am uptight or haughty, but rather because I simply don't like the feeling it gives me; certainly not to the point of wishing to relingquish my self-control via alcohol, or breaking the law in ingesting chemicals. If you are one to do this kind of thing, please do not waste our respective time. I don't want to be relegated to being a designated driver all the time. College was decades ago.

I am not easily bamboozled because I give you my best and deepest trust. If you are cheating, or thinking about cheating, or if you believe that monogamy is boring, then I would rather not go any further. I will always find out if you have been unfaithful or wish to be. I am nobody's plaything, and certainly nobody's fool. To my mind, rampant promiscuity at our age is just plain gross and self-delusional, not liberating nor empowering. This is equally true for men as it is for women. This issue is not negotiable. I am deadly serious about this.

I have no tattoos or piercings. I find these things to occupy the realm of fad, and I have never followed fads. I am not that enamored of them.

If I am to become an intimate part of your life, I do not wish to be some dirty secret or guilty pleasure. If for some reason you feel too ashamed to introduce me to your friends and family, then you must be honest with me about it. Conversely, I am no sort of person to have to impress these people either. If you have accepted me and they cannot, I can only conclude that it is their own tragic loss.

I do not believe in living together before marriage. Not for any moralistic reason, but because it is pretty widely known that doing so without marriage does nothing to grow a relationship. In fact, it goes a long way towards its detriment. If marriage becomes the ultimate goal, then we can wait until then to live together.

I am helpful and open to you. I will do all that I can, but there are limits. I cannot take full responsibility for your financial solvency. I am no ATM with legs. I am by no means a skin-flint; just sensible and practical where things like money and resources are concerned.

I will never be abusive, physically, emotionally, nor verbally. Please don't be thus either and call it "a joke". Personal attacks even under the guise of humor are still personal, hurtful attacks. Get angry with me when I screw up (which I will from time to time), but hurling epithets and insults will mean the end of the relationship; permanently. I entered into our being together because I was seeking someone with whom to share my life and my love. Cruelty is never excused from either party in those circumstances.

I am an engineer by trade, but rather like to think of myself as a musician who happens to have a day job as an engineer. I have not been graced with prodigious talent, but I feel incomplete without music in my life. I also love to cook. My mother is Sicilian, and as with Sicilians everywhere, the words "I Love You" are quite easily translated as "Eat! Mangia Mangia!" I buy into this whole-heartedly. I love to do it all from scratch, and I love to entertain people. Another aspect of having a Sicilian mama is to cook way more than your guests can possibly eat at one time. Everyone goes home with left-overs. When my sons come to visit, they usually bring a cadre of friends and girlfriends. I love the challenge of trying to fill those bottomless pits. I think I did it once.

I prefer cats to dogs,
Sunsets to sunrises,
Deep love and commitment to hooking up,
Oreos to Chips Ahoy.

As I have said in my open salvo of words: honesty is crucial from both of us. I really don't think I am asking for much by expecting to be met half-way in all things, most particularly with the merging of two hearts. I do believe in dignity and respect, monogamy and passion...these things do not constitute a boring or pedestrian life. It is in fact the best to which our hearts can aspire. To think one's self as being the same as we were when in high school or college is the epitome of self-delusion. Those days were about self-absorption and learning a better way to live.

This is who I am, and what I believe. I realize that these words paint an incomplete portrait of who I am, but hopefully there is enough here to inspire a little curiosity. Please do feel free to contact me if thus compelled.

What I'm Looking For

Predominantly, I seek a grown up woman. I have no interest in those who still think themselves girls. I seek someone who knows what she wants, and is seeking Mr. Right, and not Mr. Right-Now. I want that someone with whom I can have an entire conversation through a glance across a crowded room. Most of all, I want to find someone who has had the courage to read through all of this and not just stop at my picture.

Level of education is unimportant.

Conformity to Madison Avenue's conception of beauty is unimportant.

Please be honest, and with a heart full of love, because that is what I am offering you.


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