Looking for my best friend ever.
1959 days ago
1959 days ago
1959 days ago
Children: Yes - living with me
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Before we begin I must give you, by law, the following disclaimer....
I have a sense of humor. I use said humor not to score points in a sexual sense (ie the "if you can make a girl laugh you can make her do anything" myth.) but to break the proverbial ice. That being said I am in no way liable for the condition of the aforementioned ice once it is broken and this disclaimer in no way indemnifies me as such. The ice in my opinion was made to be broken and is a necessary casualty of this process. If you do not wish the ice to be broken, or if you are one of those overtly conservative ice activists and feel that ice has rights too and should be protected under the constitution, then maybe it is best we do not talk because if I break the ice I will not fix, repair, insure, or replace said ice.
Oh and I am also sarcastic and love the shock value of a joke. Love is like war. In war the military uses shock and awe to make a bold initial "statement". To let the enemy know they mean business. The war of dating is a war of words. It is a battle for supremacy in the very real sense of the word.
The war is not against you, but against the thousands of other douche bags that wish to undermine my efforts to meet you by either being more attractive than I am, richer, smoother, or by their overall douchbagginess (its a word) that they have demonstrated to you thereby damaging your willingness to give a nice guy like me the benefit of a doubt as to his genuine niceness. That is why one must maneuver themselves into a position where the perceived objective, you in this case, has an impression made that compels said objective to say wow, awww, you're cute, I like you, lets hang out, or hey I'll call you or text you, and then actually make good on that etc. So in essence where the military will use shock and awe to make a point, I use shock and awesome...
(okay stop rolling your eyes! It's only cute if i can see and enjoy it plus there will be plenty of time for that on our first date....see below.)
So why am I here? I am looking for a very best friend. Someone I can communicate with, have fun with, laugh with and just be. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR SEX, A HOOK UP, BOOTY CALL,PERIOD! I just want a crazy smart insane funny sarcastic goofy dorky girl to hang with and talk about everything and nothing sometimes. Someone who gets me because quite frankly if you dont get me then you dont get ME! If you ride a motorcycle so much the better (SCORE) but at the very least you must like coffee lol and not have any drama.
So about me...well I was born in a small suburban town in florida to a small suburban family. I was raised by parents who love eachother....damn that was mind numbingly boring...ok I am a passionate romantic renaissance man that loves family, friends, and making people laugh. I am a musician, photographer, computer geek, and I love to text, talk and just be. I have had my heart shattered more times than I can count, but I am not bitter or jaded. I know she is out there cause ive been told on many occasions that I am out there...maybe they meant that as metaphor...so yeah im for real, I act on my heart, and quite often say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but when I am needed I step up! I own my own business, I ride a motorcycle, and I love the water. Ok enough serious crap. Nuff said.
I am giving full disclosure as to my intent. Again I am NOT looking for a fling or a FWB. I am looking for the one who has the key to this ancient Aztec lock box that has "The awesomeness" inscribed in Azteccian (it's a language...geez) on it. Bottom line...I want my BEST FRIEND! Here's a thought just be honest and put it out there. No games just truth. Someone I can trust my inner most secrets with. I just get along better with females than males. This is no game, and if you think it is please pass me by. I need trust and understanding more than judgement.
As stated above I have an edgy and even shock value sense of humor. I love to laugh and make others laugh, sometimes at their expense...I know it is a bad habit and I will seek help one day. I'll try not to make you blush with embarrassment too much in public haha...PS yes I am a total dork...deal with it.
Oh and not to get too personal but i have to ask....Canon? or Nikon?.....yeah it matters.
What I'm Looking For
Im looking for my best friend. Someone who is sane but waves hello to insanity. Thinks with her heart, loves with her soul, is smart funny cute sexy edgy outgoing assertive dangerous funky fun sarcastic hopeful communicative and of course a little nuts. Oh and rides a motorcycle.....not a deal breaker if you don't. I ride a ninja...I'm just sayin lol