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Crackel
I like bacon
Online: 2283 days ago   Updated: 2283 days ago   Joined: 2283 days ago
 
The Basics
  Age: 39   Gender: Male   Race: Caucasian   Location: Lakeside Park Kentucky United States
The Details
Body Type:
  Athletic
Appearance:
  Casual
Children:
  Yes - living with me
Smoking:
  Non-smoker
Eye Colour:
  Blue
Hair Length:
  Short
Sexual Orientation:
  Straight
Hair Colour:
  Brown
About Me

Single again!! I'm literally about 5 minutes from downtown Cincinnati across the river on the Kentucky side. I realize I'm missing the cheesy pic of myself in a bathroom with my shirt off taking a pic with my cell phone. I'll work on that. Hehe. I'm a giant flirt but not so much online. I tend to keep to myself which really contradicts my actual personality. I'm very outgoing and social and have a lot of great friends. I bartended for 9 years so I got to meet a lot of people. I have a great job now as a 'computer geek' for GE. Needed a career choice and I didn't want to be a 60 year old bartender serving beers in a bowling alley. The new career is working out great though. I'm easy to talk to and I think of myself as having a really great sense of humor. Upfront and honest, I gotta be attracted to you. Bottom line. I'm not picky. I just want confidence in a girl. I would rather have a girl that struts her stuff than a model that's paranoid about her weight. I like a girl that takes care of herself and likes to get dressed up for a night out! I'm not into the 'sweatpants' girl. Just saying.

I smoke, I drink, I curse, and I make fun at other people's expense and misfortunes. I have great morals, attend church regularly (you would never guess it by talking to me), and a definite family man. I also, turn into a twelve year old hyper boy when I drink (in a good way), tell dirty jokes, and I still laugh when I fart. I'm really good at any sport that you can drink with. (bowling, darts, pool, especially beer pong, etc.)

My friends made me do a "25 pieces of randomness" about me on facebook. I tried to make it interesting and fun and thought hell, these are great conversation pieces so I'm pasting it into here.
1. Riding an ostrich is on my bucket list and I must do it before I die!
2. The best gift anyone could give me is new socks. Have you ever put on a brand new pair of socks? Mmmm...
3. My first boner was over She-Ra!
4. There is not a better food in this world than a Chipotle burrito.
5. I wonder how much it would cost to have myself mummified after I die.
6. I hate that the gays stole the rainbow. Really. It's a natural phenomenon and now I feel like skipping and using the word "super" every time I look at one.
7. I don't fall asleep until noon every day.
8. There are two females in this world that I trust with my entire heart. My daughter and Chevy-Nub-Nub (my dog)
9. I've had braces twice and my teef are still crooked!
10. My other dog, Mr. Big, outweighs me.
11. Here's a biggie! I've legally died three times!
12. Sauerkraut is the anti-Christ food. It was spawned from satan's ass.
13. I seriously hate flip flops and those ugly ass boots women wear. Ugz?
14. The last bite of my meal has to be the best looking part of whatever I'm eating.
15. I can't stand how men act so damn desperate. Especially online. She just heard how beautiful she was by 40 other guys an hour before you.
16. I wonder if there's any other uses for a dixie cup besides disposable shot glass.
17. I'm not a TandA guy. I have a wicked fetish for legs though.
18. My best vacation was in Cancun and I remember the least of it.
19. I cannot raise one eyebrow and I hate that I can't.
20. I'm working on my British accent. I speak with London often for work but I still suck at it. Allo luvlay!
21. Pets I've owned: 4 ft iguana, a sun conure parrot, a Jackson's chameleon, a scorpion, a rat, and I've never gone without a dog ever.
22. I am a movie slut!! I've walked out of Blockbuster too many times empty handed because I had already seen everything.
23. I would kick a puppy for a Skyline cheese coney right now.
24. I hate urinal cakes. They put it right where I'm pissing and makes it splash everywhere. It doesn't make anything smell better if I'm covered in urine.
25. I need to learn to be more domesticated. I can't cook anything past a pop tart and I shrink all of my laundry.

What I'm Looking For

Upfront and honest, I gotta be attracted to you. Bottom line. I'm not picky. I just want confidence in a girl. I would rather have a girl that struts her stuff than a model that's paranoid about her weight. I like a girl that takes care of herself and likes to get dressed up for a night out! I'm not into the 'sweatpants' girl. Just saying.

Oh! And she's gotta have some thick skin. I'm sarcastic and usually pretty inappropriate. (I'm starting to sound really obnoxious but I swear I'm not.)

 
 

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